Ladies and gentlemen, my niece ;)
narcissisticslut: Sitting in work with absolutely nothing to do, im still hungover and resisting the urge to projectile vomit. However on the brighter side, stirling tonight, quite looking forward to it. Fuck yer double vodkas I’ll have a kirk measure please.
Definitely in the final stage of the hangover
Acceptance and hormonal outbursts. Getting on with packing for the weekend and I suddenly burst into tears whilst writing my Dad’s birthday card. Woah there ‘mones. Get yourselves together, it’s a funny card!
Just had a strange and awful flashback
to the time I woke up dying hungover and reached for what I thought was a lovely god-sent bottle of highland spring next to my bed…. It was straight gin.
Does anyone else sometimes have their alarm invade...
I’m dreaming away about this old building where this guy has killed everyone else I was with but I’ve managed to talk him down and now we’re trying to dismantle the bomb he set… and then the bomb won’t stop playing John Mayer. So I start ripping it apart and it stops, then it starts again. I finally wake up and realise that it’s my alarm playing ‘Slow...
Pete just came home from football and put on...
A little worried about him…
I had a nice day today!
Didn’t go to our trial day at the gym because a) I hadn’t printed the passes and b) it was far too nice to be inside! Instead we went to DiMaggios and sat outside, I had a huge salmon salad and a lovely cold pint of Peroni. Then I went and bought a new bikini from New Look, thanks to Kelly Brook it actually contains my breasts but the bottoms are a weeee bit tight! Then we had ice...
iusedtowritehere asked: arrrgh thank you lauren! that's so nice of you. i still need to send you that bottle of snow fairy i promised months ago. i'm such a lazy oaf, i shall do that tomorrow. xx
Also, I snapped a knife in half this morning
Deez guns don’t need no gym.
Impromptu Day Off.
Woo!!!! Work had to cut my shift today because they put too many staff on for this visit thing and they’ll get a big row. I’m now only working Thursday 12-cl then I’m off all weekend for partiiiiiies! Today I am going to go to the gym for a trial day. I can’t wait to get in the pool. Need to go to town, meet Joseph, buy gym clothes/swimsuit and have a quick light...
Post a photo of myself in a tacky bikini
then think about going back to the livingroom to demolish two large dominoms pizzas. Loving my 20s.
Going for a free trial day at the gym tomorrow
Hello pool! Thing is, the only swimwear I have is leopard print or zebra print (no word of a lie) and no longer contains my breasticles well enough. Where can one buy swimwear at this time of year??
I got paid a shedload today.
And I am about to go to work to work with my two favourites. In such a cracking mood.
Half ten on a Monday morning
and I am jumping about to Hello by Dragonette after a big awesome happy birthday call to Michelle at her work. ‘I”ll give her her due, she has ambition, but she lacks manners” hahahha I have work 12-4 so between now, and then between 5-6 I have to get this flat spotless for a partaaayyy tonight. First stop, turning the music right up and taking out the bins in my pjs.
Do any other girls often wake up with...
I obviously sleep with my arm across my face every night because I always have big black smears on my forearms in the morning haha. Also yes, I sleep with my make up on. Get over it, my skin is still lovely.
First day off in 11 days!
Woooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m going to paint my nails and go on a daytrip. So happy!
Disney songs sing-a-long whilst I tidy.
Woooaahhh no chance, no way, I won’t say it no no. This scene won’t play, I won’t say I’m in lovvvvvvvve!
The day I get a super lie-in and I wake up feeling...
Headache? Why are you here? What do you want? A lemsip? Will that help? Ok.
Shot down a rude old man tonight.
He saunters in, pushes past me at the door and goes ‘Where’s the toilet?’ I said, ‘It’s for customers only I’m afraid sir sorry…’ ‘Aye I’ll be a customer, but first where’s the toilet?’ I pointed, knowing fine well he wasn’t going to stay for food/a drink because his over-done wife was waiting outside. So, I let him go...
Seriously struggling to keep my mouth shut.
Awful awful rude nasty show off rude nightmare. Anyway! Today I got a lie in. Woo! I am working at 5 (day 10 of 11 straight days) and I am dying to get it over and done with. Saturday 3-close then I’m finally free. I can’t wait to get paid on Sunday and Monday, I can’t wait till Joe gets back from Cardiff and I’m not the only bloody floor staff member, I can’t...
Finally got my room tidied and hoovered.
Now time to tackle that clothes mountain. Two piles; ‘Needs hung up, because otherwise you’ll never wear it because it looks scruffy all crumpled up/it’s a jacket’ ‘Doesn’t need hung up because of one of two reasons: a) it’s stretchy/patterned, b) it’s probably just going to be worn as jammies anyway’ Piles are made. Time to separate into...
8 straight days of working has turned into 11.
Picked up a shift at Capital FM tomorrow… didn’t realise it would be an 8am-11pm in the Gyle though… oops, might die. Then a 5-close and a 3-close Friday/Saturday and I’m FINALLY OFF. Sunday will be spent visiting Bishopbriggs and having a brainstorm over a certain naked calendar that I’ll be shooting. I say shooting like I’m some kind of professional....
MADE IT. Off to work in my taxi with at least 80%...
I am great.
"If I were a hot mum in the West End of Glasgow,...